Story Progress

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Apr
17

Yesterday we spent most of the day tiling our bathroom shower floor. We’ve been working on this bathroom remodel since January and we’re SO ready for it to be done. *sigh* Also, I felt really sick all day and we had to call it quits early. I showered, slept for a couple of hours, then lay on the couch the rest of the evening moaning about how icky I felt. My poor wife was so sweet and put up with all my whining and complaining.

However, I got a lot of rest last night thanks to a couple of sleeping pills and the grim determination to make my brain STOP chattering, at least for a few hours, about Ithyria. :P Today Shasta’s off playing a football game (my wife Shasta, of course, not Princess Shasta… hehe) and so I have the whole day, and the whole house, all to myself for writing.

I just finished Chapter Eight. *does a happydance around her living room* One more and I’ll be nearly halfway through the book. Very pleased with how the story’s progressing so far — the action’s been far less cumbersome and awkward to write than I’d anticpiated, and the dialogue-heavy scenes of Chapter Eight still flow smoothly enough that I don’t think they’ll need a lot of major surgery in edits…

Going to take a little break now for some lunch and maybe some coffee, then dive into Chapter Nine.

Hope everyone’s having a great weekend!

PotH Playlist, Track Eleven: Surrender

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Apr
16

I’ve posted this song once before, but we’ve finally reached it on my playlist: Evanescence’s “Going Under.” Again, I can’t really write about which scene I associate this song with, since it would involve major spoilers… but it’s a good one! ^~

Now I will tell you what I’ve done for you
50 thousand tears I’ve cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won’t hear me.

Don’t want your hand this time, I’ll save myself.
Maybe I’ll wake up for once
Not tormented daily, defeated by you
Just when I thought I’d reached the bottom

I’m dying again

I’m going under
Drowning in you
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through
I’m going under
Blurring and stirring -- the truth and the lies.
So I don’t know what’s real and what’s not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can’t trust myself anymore

I’m dying again

I’m going under
Drowning in you
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through

So go on and scream
Scream at me I’m so far away
I won’t be broken again
I’ve got to breathe -- I can’t keep going under

I’m dying again

I’m going under
Drowning in you
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through
I’m going under
I’m going under
I’m going under

Raven Mask – Winter Pennington

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Apr
16

Recently finished reading Raven Mask, by BSB Author Winter Pennington. It’s the second book in her Kassandra Lyall series, and I’ve enjoyed them both very much!

BSB’s book description:
“I stared down at the lifeless body of a boy whose face was all too familiar…”

Is Timothy Nelson dead or undead?

The book’s written in first person and reminds me a bit of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, being primarily a murder mystery/suspense story with a nice dose of romance — but exchange the Deep South for a more gothic/wiccan perspective, and the rather hapless lead character for a street-savvy Preternatural detective who doesn’t wait for trouble to find her, but actually goes looking for it. I really like Kassandra, who’s spunky, sarcastic, and sensitive (even though she usually pretends not to be much of the latter.) She makes for a great narrarator and her voice really propels the story along. Also, Lenorre is HOT. >D But I have to admit, the enigmatic Zaphara (a new character introduced in Raven Mask) is my favorite. Won’t tell you why, since it would involve spoilers, but she’s pretty darned awesome.

Winter’s got a new vampire novel, Darkness Embraced, out next month, too — being a BSB author I’ve already recieved my e-book copy even though the release date isn’t until May 16th. Lucky!! *.*

PotH Playlist, Track Ten: You’re All That I Want

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Apr
15

Another cover of a great song, by a female artist. Bryan Adams’ “Heaven”, sung by Do.

Oh thinking about our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothing can take you away from me
We been down that road before
But that’s over now
You keep me coming back for more

Baby you’re all that I want
When you’re lying here in my arms
I’m finding it hard to believe
We’re in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn’t too hard to see
We’re in heaven

Oh -- once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you’re feeling down
Yeah -- nothing could change what you mean to me
Oh there’s lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

And baby you’re all that I want
When you’re lying here in my arms
I’m finding it hard to believe
We’re in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn’t too hard to see
We’re in heaven

I’ve been waiting for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are coming true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya -- I’ll be standing there by you

In Defense of the Happy Ending

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Apr
15

The other day I was looking through the blogs of a few of my favorite authors, and I came across a review of a newly released novel on a well-known fantasy publishing site. The reviewer was quite complimentary of the new book, but her review culminated with special praise of the fact that the protagonists (who are lesbian, by the way) go their separate ways at the end of the novel rather than choosing to stay together. She went on to say how much she dislikes books that try to claim that “love conquers all.” Now, this may have been because of the particular age group this book was written for, and from that perspective I don’t entirely disagree; but this got me thinking, a lot, last night.

I’m going to be perfectly frank here. I love, love, LOVE the theme of “love conquers all.” I love it because I believe in it wholeheartedly. And I believe in it not because I have some naïve giddy romantic idea that true love, once discovered, will transform one’s life into a fairytale forest of chirping birdies and squirrels that sit on your shoulder and unicorns that prance through the meadows and streaming rainbows and sunshine and sparkles everywhere… No, I believe in it because I believe that love is about 30% emotion, and 70% determination. I believe that love is a choice you make, consciously, to prioritize someone else in your heart through both the happy-fluffy-sparkly times and the dull-frustrating-angry-sad-painful times. You make that choice every day, sometimes even multiple times during the day, if needed. ^~ The tricky part is, it has to be chosen by both partners actively and daily in order for it to work. Either one gives up, moves on, decides they’re bored or it’s not worth it or their own interests are more important or there are greener pastures somewhere else – then nope, it’s not going to conquer a darned thing.

And true love is rare, I’ll give you that. It is not always easy to find someone who you fit with well enough that choosing them is a delight more often than it’s a struggle. And even when you do find such a person, there’s always the risk that they won’t feel the same about you. Most human beings, I think, desire this connection on at least some level, and spend a good portion of their lives looking for it. A few are lucky enough to find it. You know the ones – the little old couple in their eighties who, after fifty years of marriage, still hold each other’s hands as they rock back and forth on the porch of their nursing home. Does it happen for everyone? Sadly, no. But it’s very much what I want for myself, in my own life. And I would venture to say, based on the popularity of romance novels and sappy-ending movies and prince-gets-the-girl fairy tales and pretty much every song written by Taylor Swift, that I’m not the only person who dreams of having a love like that in my life.

(Ask that little old couple about their relationship, though, and you’re sure to get an earful of the trials and tribulations they had to navigate in order to be on that porch together fifty years later. True love is powerful and wonderful, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a hell of a lot of hard work, even terribly painful sometimes.)

But that is why I like my happy endings, goshdarnit. I’m not into “realism;” I’ve got plenty of that to deal with in my daily life. I read romance and fantasy because I want an escape from realism. I read because I want to be reminded that love does exist, and it is possible to find it, that it’s so worth fighting for, and that—if you make it important enough to you—it WILL conquer all. I read because it gives me hope and courage and faith, and I return to my own life and relationships with a refreshed determination to nurture the love I’ve been blessed with because it’s worth the extra effort. And this is especially important to me when it comes to lesbian stories, because the popular trend in so many lesbian movies, etc. is to give the characters a “realistic” ending, wherein they realize their relationship won’t work out and move on, forever trying to recapture what they had with that first love and looking back on it with a wistful c’est la vie smile. (Kissing Jessica Stein had me shucking objects around my living room in absolute fury.) Realistic? Maybe. But is that really the message we want to send—that lesbians don’t believe in happily-ever-after? That we don’t want it just as much as our straight friends? As far as I’m concerned, the last message we should be sending is that lesbian women should have no expectation that their relationships will last. It rather implies that their love isn’t as “real” as heterosexual love, that it is perhaps just a phase or whim (and following that line of logic, may even imply that queer people really are just confused, maybe even a little mentally unstable…?)

Now, I’m not going to stand here and declare that every story I ever write will have a happy ending. I don’t know what kind of a writer I’ll be in ten years, or twenty. And I’m definitely not going to promise that, once I’ve given a particular couple a happy ending in one book, they’re going to get to hang onto it with ease if I write sequels. I absolutely believe in realism when it comes to showing the complexity and difficulty that one faces when navigating life in partnership with someone else. I just – still – believe that ultimately, Love Conquers All… if you want it badly enough.

I’ll still read, watch and enjoy the more “realistic” stories because I can appreciate good storytelling even when the endings leave me disgruntled and unsatisfied. I will grant the writers license to tell me the story they want to tell, with the themes and statements they want to make, because it’s their story and far be it from me to dictate to them how to tell it. If I have to, I’ll rewrite the ending in my own imagination so that it doesn’t sour the beauty of the rest of the story for me. But I will write the stories that I want to read – and you can rest assured that in my books, no matter how tragic or angst-driven or dark, somehow and in some way love will conquer all, every single time.

‘Fraid my readers will just have to deal with it. :P

PotH Playlist, Track Nine: Loneliness

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Apr
14

Another Sofi Bonde song: “Close My Eyes.” I’m never sure whether this song is better suited to Kade or Erinda, but either way, it fits and it’s beautiful.

How did we get to this?
I used to believe in tomorrow
So many memories I miss
I need a real life to borrow

You can’t help me go to sleep
Now I’m here and you are free

So I close my eyes for another night
And I know that someday, you’ll be close
Try to wipe away those lonely days
Since you’re hanging around with my ghost
Don’t go

The cold’s back again
I thought that I left it behind me
I need another new friend
Always the darkness that finds me

I want to say inside this dream
Still remember you and me

So I close my eyes for another night
And I know that someday, you’ll be close
Try to wipe away those lonely days
Since you’re hanging around with my ghost
Don’t go

All these things I held inside me
Can’t be what you want
I’m gone
And I fall out of all these dreams
That led me in to the dark
And all these heartbreaks piled up high

So I close my eyes for another night
And I know that someday, you’ll be close
Try to wipe away those lonely days
Since you’re hanging around with my ghost
Don’t go

PotH Playlist, Track Eight: I’m Waiting

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Apr
13

Track Eight is Kate Earl’s “When You’re Ready For Love.” I see this as one of Erinda’s songs, and the message is pretty clear. ^~

I will wait patiently
When the world you’re caught up in fades, come to me
And you know I’m not holding my breath
But you know how to find me
And you know there’s a knot in my chest
Only you can untie me

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you wanted, baby

All your reasons are wrong, now I know why you run
And I’m not leaving
Before I got that you’re just lost,
I used to think that I wasn’t enough

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you want, baby

You’re safe, safe with me
I hope that I’ve shown you enough to believe
And you know I’m not holding my breath
but you know how to find me
And you know there’s a knot in my chest
and only you can untie me

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you wanted, baby
All your reasons are wrong, now I know why you run
And I’m not leaving
Before I got that you’re just lost,
I used to think that I wasn’t enough

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you want, baby

It’s never too late to put the past away
It’s never too late to put the past away
It’s never too late to put the past away
It’s never too late to quit the masquerade

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you wanted, baby
All your reasons are wrong, now I know why you run
And I’m not leaving
Before I got that you’re just lost,
I used to think that I wasn’t enough

When you’re ready for love
Cause you know all along
I’m the one that you want, baby

3D SotG Cover Mock-Up

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Apr
13

I’ve posted this over on the SotG 3D Gallery page but thought I’d blog it too. One of the scenes I came up with for the book trailer was a recreation of the Talon/Shasta pose from the original book cover painted by Tobias Brenner. In order to make the transition from 3D animation to the actual book cover less jarring, I did a little 3D-cover-to-actual-cover morph in the trailer. Making the 3D cover was so much fun that I thought I’d share it with everyone. Of course I don’t have nearly the creative hand that our BSB cover artist Sheri does. :P But I think it suffices all right…

Click for the full version!

I’m probably not getting much sleep tonight either

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Apr
12

Laying in bed with my wife slumbering peacefully next to me, a cat curled up on my arm, and my little pink netbook open on my stomach.

I wrote chapter seven of PotH today. That’s right… the whole chapter. You know how long it’s been since I’ve been able to pound out a good ten pages of story in a single day? I haven’t felt this kind of flow since I churned through SotG in a month and a half.

Wow. Now this, friends, is an awesome feeling.

It helps, of course, that I’ve been looking forward to writing the events in this chapter for… well, years. And the key event, the main scene, is really only composed of about four or so paragraphs near the end. Still, they are very, very satisfying paragraphs. >D

It also helps that now that I have a complete outline of what’s happening next, I feel sort of free. No longer must I worry what the heck I’m going to do with this scene or that one. I can just write them as they’re supposed to flow. Already my fingers are jittery with the need to start on Chapter 8, but I really can’t. It’s 11:30 and, like a responsible adult, I have to slap my alarm at 6:30 AM and trudge off to work.

Here’s hoping this momentum will stick around for a while. I’ve missed it.

PotH Playlist, Track Seven: Choices

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Apr
12

After a little hiatus, time to resume posting songs from my Prayer of the Handmaiden playlist. Track Seven is a cover of the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” by Charlotte Martin. Not only does Miss Charlotte have an exquisite voice, but I love the irony of the subject matter of the song, given Erinda’s passion for horses. I would explain what scene I most strongly associate with this song, but I don’t want to give away spoilers. :P

Childhood living is easy to do
The things that you wanted, well, I bought them for you
Graceless lady, you know who I am
You know I can’t let you just slide through my hands

And wild horses couldn’t drag me away
And wild horses couldn’t drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
And now you’ve decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

And wild horses couldn’t drag me away
And wild horses couldn’t drag me away

I know I’ve dreamt you, a sin and a lie
And I have my freedom but I don’t have much time
Fate has been suffered and tears must be cried
So let’s do some living after we die

And wild horses couldn’t drag me away
And wild horses couldn’t drag me away