PotH Playlist, Track One: Erinda’s Theme

Posted by Merry in Merry's Blog

Dec
11

As promised, I’ve decided to deliver a series of blogs on the playlist for Prayer of the Handmaiden. This is a CD of songs that I put together in a certain order, that I listen to almost daily in my car and while at work. While I can’t listen to them while I’m doing actual writing (music with lyrics tends to distract my focus) these songs are a major part of the creative process during “downtime” — which is basically when my imagination is listening to what’s supposed to happen next in the story.

To do the playlist justice, I think each song needs its own separate blog entry — when I’m done I’ll post the list in its entirety (you know, in case anybody wants to burn a PotH CD of their own.) Let me just caveat this entire series of posts, though, by saying that none of the artists or songs I’m about to mention are officially associated with or representative of me or my books in any way, and they’re being mentioned here only as the awesome inspirational tools and incredible artistic offerings that they are.

So I’ll start with the first track on the list, which to me is essentially Erinda’s theme song: My Immortal, by Evanescence.

Most people are probably already very familiar with this song, and I realize it’s been celebrated (and parodied) a million times by now, to the point where a lot of people may enjoy calling it cheesy, hokey, etc. (Ever notice how that happens a lot with music that’s deeply emotional? It’s like some people want revenge for having been made to feel something so intense by a mere piece of music.)

For me, the intense sadness of the melody describes what’s going on inside Erinda, underneath the saucy, flirty mask she wears for everybody else. The singer references being a childhood protector of her beloved; she talks about how no matter how many years go by in her beloved’s absence, she can’t seem to forget or heal from the loss; how it feels like her beloved is always there, never letting her go so she can move on, and yet at the same time is also completely absent and maybe… just maybe, was never really there even when they were together.

The lyrics influenced strongly some of the back story that developed between Kade and Erinda, and the resulting dynamic of their relationship. It also serves as a solid reference point for Erinda’s pain, the true state of her heart, and whenever I have to write a scene from inside her head I find myself coming back to this piece of music in order to ground myself in her perspective.

Not to mention, it’s just simply a beautiful song. :)