Sword of the Guardian and Branded Ann on Cocktail Hour

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Dec
28

Ohmigosh, with all the holiday bustle I haven’t yet posted this awesome announcement! Andy and The Rev over at Cocktail Hour featured their reviews of and thoughts on Sword of the Guardian and Branded Ann in Episode 8 of their podcast!!

Shasta and I were up ’til midnight listening & laughing our butts off — these two are SO funny. *gringrin* And they had so many nice things to say about the books! I love hearing critique from actual readers, and they did a very impressive job of reviewing the storylines without spoilers. I send them many thanks & hugs for choosing my books to review — there is nothing in the world more flattering, as an author, than to have folks who want to spread the word of your stories!!

Andy & The Rev review a lot of Bold Strokes authors on their show, alongside many other fantastic lesbian storytellers from the publishing and fanfic worlds. Fans of les lit (like chick lit, right? haha…) definitely ought to check out their blog & subscribe to the RSS feed or iTunes podcast so you can catch every episode!

As for Christmas, Shasta and I hosted my family at our house again this year, and we had a marvelous time. My “baby” brother Caleb is in Iraq right now, so the highlight of this year’s holiday celebration was arranging to talk to him via Skype, with webcams, and we projected his handsome face up on our television for everybody to see! We lucked out and got a great connection, too, so we must have talked to him for a good 3 hours or so. We even all opened presents together like we usually do. ‘Twas a great time.

Hoping everyone else had just as merry a Christmas!

PotH Playlist, Track Six: Prayer of the Handmaiden

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Dec
21

A beautiful song that makes me think of the consummate prayer of an Ithyrian priestess… Operatica, “Shine.”

Hear the sound of your own dreams
And watch them disappear, as anger turns to fear
Life has not been what it seems
The words you held like secrets have lost their memories
Where’s your heart’s desire?
Make a wish and close your eyes and shine
Shine on me
Keep me from the shadows
Shine on love, shine on life
Help me find tomorrow

As the day turns into night
The windows become mirrors, and I am left with myself
Strangers glide from left to right
We dance like jilted lovers and pray for morning light
Pain is all around
Hold my hand and teach my heart to shine
Shine on me
Keep me from the shadows
Shine on love, shine on life
Help me find tomorrow
Shine on love, shine on life
Keep me from the shadows
Shine on life, shine on love
Help me find tomorrow

Rise up higher, shine
Hear the sound of your own dreams
Higher, higher, shine
Hear the sound of your own dreams
Rise up, higher, shine on me
Rise up, higher, shine on me

PotH Playlist, Track Five: I’m Sorry

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Dec
20

Another of my favorite songs of all time, composed, written and performed by an absolutely brilliant artist named Emilie Autumn. Her first album, Enchant, is like Loreena McKennitt-meets-Alanis Morissette and is utter magic.

Yet another song I associate very strongly with Kade: “Save You.” Stunning song, and Emilie even manages to throw in a smidge of Pachelbel…

Though the lyrics are in the video I’m also writing them out here because they are just so beautifully, powerfully written…

How do I save you from a fate so sweet
As being torn to pieces by a loving hand?
How do a save you from a voice so soft
As that which acquieces to your each command?
How do I look upon the eyes I love
And send them down this path? I know it isn’t right
How do I make you realize, my love
That there is more to fear than strangers in the night

How do I save you? How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain waits a darker world
If I can’t make you leave, how can I save you from me?

I think you’ve had enough experience
To differentiate between a heart of gold
And what you cradle in your gentle arms
Can you not recognize a soul already sold?
How do I save you from the things I’ve been?
I can’t deny the past, it’s written on my face
How do I save you from the mess you’re in
When I can’t make you leave this torturous embrace?

How do I save you? How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain waits a darker world
If I can’t make you leave, how can I save you
Save you from me?

How do I set you, set you free?

How do I save you? How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain waits a darker world
If I can’t make you leave, how can I save you from me?
How do I save you? How do I set you free?
Behind the curtain waits a darker world
If I can’t make you leave, how can I save you from me?

PotH Playlist, Track Four: Longing

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Dec
19

Another song I associate very strongly with Kade: Sofi Bonde’s “Fallout.” Writing out the lyrics below since I couldn’t find a Youtube version with them.

I seem to forget how easy I fallout
I’m not yours and you’re not mine
I can’t afford to, I have to avoid you
But you come to me at night

Mmm, it’s not my fault that I want to have it all with you
Oh yeah, again
You, oh, cause we’re the same

I don’t recommend it, it could be a bad habit
But somehow you make me feel
Just like I know better than you do
That’s the trick you play on me

Mmm, the way you taste so sweet and I can’t wait to meet with you
Oh yeah, again
You, oh, cause we’re the same

Help me down, save my pride
See me now, I wanna be, I wanna be with you
Oh yeah, again
You, oh yeah, cause we’re the same
You, oh, it’s such a shame
You, oh, with you, with you,
I wanna be with you, oh yeah, again
You, oh yeah, cause we’re the same
You, oh yeah
You, oh yeah

PotH Playlist, Track Three: The Past

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Dec
18

Song number three is one of my favorites of all time… the beautiful, haunting “I Know You By Heart,” by Eva Cassidy. She describes loving someone through each season of the year — and then saying goodbye. It’s a song I refer to when I’m thinking of Kade and Erinda reflecting on their past together.

PotH Playlist, Track Two: Kadrian’s Theme

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Dec
17

Second on my Prayer of the Handmaiden track list is the song I consider Kade’s theme. Actually, there are a couple of songs that suit Kade so strongly that I have a hard time choosing just one — but this grabs me in her voice every time I hear it, in sync with Kade’s internal struggle as she tries to choose between the mortal she loves and the Goddess she serves. It’s “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles.

I can barely listen to this song without tearing up, actually, because Sara’s voice is just so pure and earnest…

PotH Playlist, Track One: Erinda’s Theme

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Dec
11

As promised, I’ve decided to deliver a series of blogs on the playlist for Prayer of the Handmaiden. This is a CD of songs that I put together in a certain order, that I listen to almost daily in my car and while at work. While I can’t listen to them while I’m doing actual writing (music with lyrics tends to distract my focus) these songs are a major part of the creative process during “downtime” — which is basically when my imagination is listening to what’s supposed to happen next in the story.

To do the playlist justice, I think each song needs its own separate blog entry — when I’m done I’ll post the list in its entirety (you know, in case anybody wants to burn a PotH CD of their own.) Let me just caveat this entire series of posts, though, by saying that none of the artists or songs I’m about to mention are officially associated with or representative of me or my books in any way, and they’re being mentioned here only as the awesome inspirational tools and incredible artistic offerings that they are.

So I’ll start with the first track on the list, which to me is essentially Erinda’s theme song: My Immortal, by Evanescence.

Most people are probably already very familiar with this song, and I realize it’s been celebrated (and parodied) a million times by now, to the point where a lot of people may enjoy calling it cheesy, hokey, etc. (Ever notice how that happens a lot with music that’s deeply emotional? It’s like some people want revenge for having been made to feel something so intense by a mere piece of music.)

For me, the intense sadness of the melody describes what’s going on inside Erinda, underneath the saucy, flirty mask she wears for everybody else. The singer references being a childhood protector of her beloved; she talks about how no matter how many years go by in her beloved’s absence, she can’t seem to forget or heal from the loss; how it feels like her beloved is always there, never letting her go so she can move on, and yet at the same time is also completely absent and maybe… just maybe, was never really there even when they were together.

The lyrics influenced strongly some of the back story that developed between Kade and Erinda, and the resulting dynamic of their relationship. It also serves as a solid reference point for Erinda’s pain, the true state of her heart, and whenever I have to write a scene from inside her head I find myself coming back to this piece of music in order to ground myself in her perspective.

Not to mention, it’s just simply a beautiful song. :)

Mysterious Muse

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Dec
10

As of last night, Chapter Five of Prayer of the Handmaiden is finished!

(Yes, yes, I realize that my earlier determination to participate in Nanowrimo didn’t pan out so well… I think I’m just going to have to settle for writing when I can squeeze the time in.) But, at least that’s one more chapter down, and I think I can safely say I’m about a quarter of the way or so through the book at this point.

Once again, my characters and the Ithyria world have surprised me. See, this is why I should stop stressing so much over trying to plan out every little detail, and just WRITE. Most of the chapter went precisely as I expected it to. It’s actually a pretty sexy chapter, and it was coming along just the way I’d imagined, and I reached the end, and in the last few paragraphs all of a sudden Kade popped something in there that was just… well, not at all what I had been thinking. One sentence alone managed to shift my entire perspective on so many things about this book, where it was going, where the tensions were going to be, what Kade’s relationship with the Goddess was going to be like. It opened a lot of doors. And, if I’m going to be entirely honest, it even made me just a wee bit uncomfortable… I wasn’t expecting it at all.

Anyway, I don’t want to go into too much detail for fear of giving spoilers, but let’s just say that I will never cease to be amazed at how strange the writing process is. When authors talk about how their characters “tell them stories” or take on a life of their own as a story develops… they’re not just being poetic. I’m sure there are lots of writers out there who do plot everything out carefully, make a plot and then an outline and then a scene breakdown and then flesh the scenes out and voila — a novel — and I try to be that kind of writer, I honestly do, because it seems so practical and neat and scientific. But the truth is most of the time I just feel like a medium, channeling a story only half from my imagination, and the other half from whatever dimension the characters came from. It’s hard to feel like I can take credit, fully, for the stories when it honestly doesn’t feel like they come from me at all. :P

(No, this doesn’t mean I believe there’s some alternate dimension out there in which my characters actually exist. It’s just that I’m mystified as to where all this inspiration comes from half the time, because it’s not in my head at all, and then all of a sudden it’s just THERE, like someone handed it to me and said “write this…”)

I’m going to be relying heavily on that mysterious muse in the next few chapters, anyway, because while I know where the story’s going to ultimately end up, the next few chapters are the transitional ones and I’m still pretty murky on how they’re going to play out, exactly…